There’s a lot of things in life that aren’t fair. Life isn’t fair, but we deal. The things that are hard to deal with? Feelings (Well, for me personally, it’s feelings, but that’s a whole other thing).
It hurts when you put yourself out there and totally go out on a limb and tell someone how you feel and they don’t feel the same way. It’s crushing. Because, c’mon, who likes to be rejected? Between the embarrassment, rejection, and complete hit to your pride, you’re hurt. And no one likes to be hurt. You’d think it can’t get any worse.. But I’ve personally learned it can.
I pray that whoever is reading this-if anyone is even reading it-hasn’t experienced this, but if you (unfortunately) have, I’ll personally invite you over to listen to some hardcore “fuck them they’re dumb” music and dance around in our underwear (too soon?) and shit talk or cry or whatever you want.
Anyway.. I digress.
The thing worse than not having those feelings reciprocated from the other person is having them reciprocated and nothing happening. I hope that made sense? Basically, it’s when you go out on that terrifying limb and tell them those three words (“I love you” or “I like you”-take your pick) and they tell you they feel the same. But nothing’s going to come of it because they’re emotionally unavailable or want to be on their own for a bit or they can’t because of school or sports or some other stupid excuse (and trust me, there are some stupid ones).
Then add going to school with said person, seeing them with another girl, having to sit next to them in class, hanging out with the same group of people, or whatever else could possibly go wrong goes wrong (because let’s face it, when we think things can’t get any shitter, they do), it all feels like so much.
But hey. Unravel yourself from those blankets, pick your pride up off of the floor, and take a shower, because for as much as it sucks, it’s also good.
This is the perfect time to step back and assess the situation. Get your head back in the right place.
So you told him your feelings for him and he can’t be with you for some reason or another. Take it. Say “okay” and move on. The chance was there, right in front of his face, and instead of following his heart, he used some other part of his body (you could probably make this is all metaphoric and be like “he used his head and didn’t follow his heart” if you want, but I’m talking in more of a literal sense because I’m bitter right now and someone chose a girl that puts out over me, but yeah, we can keep this cute). That’s his problem now, not yours.
My main advice would be DO NOT sit around waiting for him. That’s probably the shittiest thing you could ever do to yourself. As difficult as it may be to not let your feelings cloud your mind and go along with the whole “But I care about you too" bullshit, don’t let him string you along. You presented the opportunity to finally do something about your feelings with him and he blew it. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not your fault.
And what makes this advice creditable? I’ve experienced this three times with three different guys (the third happening just recently.. today.. hence this post).
The first guy kept me hanging on for over a year. And that’s when I truly realized I was wasting my time and hurting myself. The second guy is one of my really good guy friends who I liked for the longest time. He decided to tell me he felt the same right before his one year anniversary with a girl he’s crazy in love with (how you can care about two people in that sense is beyond me, but whatever). And the third-most recent-prefers pleasure. And that’s where I’ll leave it.
So, fear not my fellow hopeless romantics. It may seem like things never work out, but as a firm believer in fate, it wasn’t meant to be. Keep being yourself and don’t let it break your heart. Someone will come along and reciprocate those feelings with no problem sometime. And then those guys will feel stuuuupid.